We always relate…trafficking…with like other countries, we think about how terrible it is, you know or workers, kid workers in China and stuff. But when they hear about how prominent it is in our own state, people are just shocked. They're floored…Like they cannot believe like that it's here and it's just baffling to me that it can happen right in front of us and we have no clue
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Are we going to be killed? Like, I always thought, am I going to die, am I going to die, am I going to die. That was always my biggest fear is that is this guy going to kill me one day, you know.
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I think it’s really important that we make sure that we…try and separate the two. Like there’s the prostitutes and there is traffickers – trafficked victims. Like, I really, really want to make sure that that’s something that I’ve always [emphasized] when I talk to people…
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At least in my experience…we're not talking about just single men. We're talking about men that are married, men that have families...we're talking about pastors, doctors, you know people, not just you know... People think of a man who would, who would be someone who would solicit sex as someone who was either some perv or some old ugly fat guy. It's not the case. It's a regular old guy. It's a politician. It's a doctor. It's a lawyer. It's a lonely man whose wife is cheating on him…It's all kinds of people that you'd never believe.
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But the judge wrote in my, in my actual paperwork [application for disability], in my three denials, I had to fight it three times, that there's no way that I'm disabled or could be disabled because I'm too smart, that I have too much education…That my anxiety couldn't be that debilitating if I'm, if I’m smart enough to figure out how to get through legal loopholes to fight this…Like, I was trying to explain to him and he looks at, he's looking at me like I'm an idiot… Like I can't have PTSD because I'm not a veteran? That's ridiculous. That is the dumbest statement I've ever heard in my entire life.
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Yes, so-and so [name redacted], but they are an incredible and amazing program…for the youth and young adults who are homeless in Nebraska offering, I mean, anywhere from drop ins to getting you know toiletries, clothing, a hot meal every day…they also serve…the LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender] community because they are, since they are non-religious affiliated…they were amazing…and just being able, you know, to get a hug or to get a meal, to get some clean socks…you can shower alone, like all by yourself. And that's, and that's huge. I mean, that's really huge. It's, it's a huge thing to have privacy, to have dignity
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As time passes, it just becomes your life, it becomes what you do when you wake up, and it just becomes who you are. And it was hard to break free from that. So having a place where survivors can [go] and to live I think, a…program, would probably be most beneficial.
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I would definitely drive home the issue of getting survivors, especially early on, psychotherapy immediately, like hardcore strong psychotherapy. Not just you know, you see a therapist and you get to digest those [experiences] a little bit. No, there are some, I mean for my own personal like experiences, there are some traumatic and horrible events that could have happened in a survivor’s life whether they've been trafficked for one month or whether they've been trafficked for 10 years. The things that we've experienced and gone through is something on a whole other level. So psychotherapy is super, super, super important. And having them there and available whenever they need it.
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And I think for so many years, I just pushed it out of my head and then I had a “nervous breakdown.” …and that's when everything came to a head…I had to start dealing with these emotions...My life is different. I became agoraphobic. I began, I couldn't work anymore. I couldn't leave my house. I couldn't, you know, I'm on disability now. I can't even, you know, hold a job. And I used to have -- I was going to graduate with my…degree….I had worked at the…hospital for seven years and I was, you know, making really good money for someone my age before…not being able to work is hard. It’s humbling. I had to ask for help...I would love to just go back to being who I used to be.
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So and so [name redacted] talked about the average trafficked victim spends the rest of their life in therapy. I don't know if that's going to be true for me. I, I would hope to think that maybe in a couple of years that I'll be able to have processed everything and to move on. I don't know if that's going to be true…I don't know that kind of trauma that was inflicted upon me at such a young age, what it did to my brain…We know that trauma to a child at a young age ultimately can, can alter their brain, and as far as abuse and neglect and all that stuff.
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And…doing things like teaching life skills. Like because a lot of us girls coming out, we don't have the life skills. Budgeting – how do you write a budget…when all you've done is been a prostitute? You don't know how…maybe get a job, especially some of the girls who have criminal offenses. Who's going to hire a felon…and programs that would help them to again become self-sufficient… it’s the simple things like I didn't have a license, a birth certificate. All of those things that you, are stripped from you because you're no longer yourself. So getting all of those things back, your identity, getting those things back so that you can go out and get a job or apply for jobs. Computer skills…all these things…teaching…girls real life skills, having trainings…
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Time has passed and I have worked through it, but now I'm no longer, I'm no longer a slave to that per se. I am now someone who can go out and do something about it. I can speak to people… then to help them see, like to start dreaming for themselves, to dream for their life, to dream for you know a better future and you know a tomorrow because a lot of us live with an “I don't know what's coming next.”
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And these pimps need to be, actually need to be prosecuted, not just given probation or given you know community service or getting off time served. They're not. It’s not a criminalized crime. It's people that, you know, that sell drugs get more time than someone who is, you know, kidnapping and forcing girls to have sex for, to have sex for money. And so it's, it's crazy…it's something that I believe in so passionately about is that there needs to be stricter laws across the board.
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There's something physiologically wrong with you I think in my head if you think that a woman is of little value to only pay $100, $200 to have sex with her, especially if you're married in a relationship. If there's something going on, you need to go seek therapy, counseling, something to where you feel like you're not being fulfilled or whatever is going on.
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Oh. Oh, yes. There's definitely, that is something I've never understood is why there's a sex offender registry but there's no registry for people who are, who are convicted and caught you know selling women…I mean, the sex offender, we know where they live at. They have to register every time they move. We have to know where they're at because they're a danger to society just like anyone who has bought sex is. You're still a danger to society.
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So I think that shaming would be amazing you know. I don't care about anyone's feelings when it comes to that. If you're willing to buy a child, a teenager…They don't lose their jobs. They don’t lose their families, their houses…there's no repercussions from it. But for us, there are scars. There are scars that are left internally for us girls who are, you know, the ones who are bought and sold, that for me at least. All the men that I was with over those years, I don't know any one of them…had anything negative happen to their lives. My life is different…they get away with it and they get off scott-free. I mean, there needs to be way more like I said a shaming, a registry. Put their faces on a billboard, I don't care. You want to buy sex, then you go up on a billboard and let the whole world know that you're a perv because you bought sex from a 14 year old, you know…
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I think that we could use the internet against them and have more awareness by creating pages that are used as tools for awareness, to spread awareness, to put the resources out there. You know, having either like a text service...Or if a woman needs help, she can text something to do a number and they can find her location…I mean, it may be she finally gets access to a phone to do that. I don't know. You know, some type of text service if you want to you know get more information on how to get out.
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And then definitely I'd love to see us as a state just become like the catalyst of you know really spreading awareness and having, you know, some type of center… But we all need to be able to join up and I think pool all our resources and our, our efforts and what we're doing and work together instead of all working on separate things so that we’re not all working against each other when we all could be one big giant driving force to do that.
Narrative as found in Shireen S. Rajaram and Sriyani Tidball, “Nebraska Sex Trafficking Survivors Speak —A Qualitative Research Study,” Faculty Publications, College of Journalism & Mass Communications (2016)
